maids & matrons

Brave women with stereotypically feminine virtues, kind and patient and loving, and the older, gruff and world-weary anti-heroes who fall for them.

5 notes

ellejay82 asked: I'm probably late to the party but 5 and 17!

smallestgrackle:

5. A habit you find disgusting.

Hmmm… since it has to be an unpopular opinion, I’d have to say people talking on their cell phones in the bathroom. I hate that. Sure, I’ve done it before.

But I still hate that.

Also, don’t talk to me, stranger with a southern-belle-twang who wants to strike up a convo about the weather and her kids and last Christmas from the next stall while I’m in the midst of going. 

Don’t do that.

17. The household chore that makes you want to shoot your own face off.

Oh god oh god if the toilet gets stopped up, I just NOPE everywhere. I cannot…. if someone wanted to torture answers out of me, forcing me to plunge a toilet would probably end in my confession to anything.

If my husband is the one who stopped it up, no biggie because he takes care of it then. But if it was me I JUST CLAM THE FUCK UP AND STARE AT THE TOILET BOWL LIKE “THIS ISN’T HAPPENING” because I’m so afraid to tell him, and not because it’s embarrassing (everybody poops, guys, but some of us are OCD and use like a gallon of toilet paper by accident plus some flushable baby wipes because hygiene obsessed)… but because unstopping a toilet is like… the only thing I truly hate and dread as far as housework goes. I think it’s because when I was a young kid, I DID get embarrassed about stopping up the toilet, and I tried to plunge it myself before anyone found out, and I somehow caused the toilet to overflow and it WENT EVERYWHERE oh my poor father having to clean that up and I just…

What if I don’t do it right and make it worse?

What if I flood the house?

What if something terrifyingly unhygienic happens and E. coli goes everywhere?

But if I tell him, he’ll think I’m asking him to do it and that’s so weeeaakk.

I’m gonna hyperventilate.

UNCLOGGING TOILETS OH MY GOD WE MUST BE SOULMATES IN THIS. the last time it happened to me I had to go sit down in another room and I cried and if I was a smoker I would need to go through like a hundred cigarettes

it’s so good to know I am not the only one to go NOPE in dread (and then write about the experience on tumblr, yay for TMI!)

but also, the plus side is, when I managed to unclog the thing, I was like hell yeah bring it on I am unstoppable NOTHING CAN HURT ME NOW. +9000 exp points

Filed under TMI toilets clogged toilet THE LIFE